Category: Writing & Grammar

• Trevor bought the soda. (active)
• The soda was bought by Trevor. (passive)

• Tim killed the story. (active)
• The story was killed by Tim. (passive)

• The DUPLICATE command should be selected. (passive)
• Select the DUPLICATE command. (active)

Clarity, conciseness and simplicity of word choice will make a difference in your writing, especially when the message is complex or the reader is uninformed. Conciseness does not necessarily mean brevity.

Too Full: The seminar participant, who could not attend the first two class sessions because of illness in the family and a heavy workload at the office and who asked if she could complete the assignments on her own time, was informed by the instructor that she was no longer eligible to receive a certificate of completion for this particular class but that she could enroll in the next class.

Concise: The participant was unable to attend the first two class sessions because of illness in the family and a heavy workload. When she asked if she could complete the assignments on her own time, the instructor told her that she was no longer eligible to receive a certificate but that she could enroll in the next class.

Wordy: There is no doubt but that she is the perfect candidate for the job.

Concise: She is the perfect candidate for the job.

Wordy: For fuel purposes, propane gas is utilized in tanks in outdoor gas grills.

Concise: Propane is used in gas grills.

Wordy: She departed in a hasty and quick manner.

Concise: She departed hastily Wordy: I was wondering if you have had enough time to review and consider my request for reevaluating the work of Juanita Perez so I can tell her whether or not she qualifies to fully complete the application for a job promotion that will promote her from her present level of administrative assistant to a new and higher job level of senior secretary.

Concise: Is Juanita Perez eligible to apply for a promotion?

Wordy: It is most likely a true fact that in spite of the fact that the educational atmosphere that surrounds our children is a very significant and a very important factor to each and every one of our children in terms of his or her personal and individual future development and growth, various different groups and people do not at all support certain tax assessments or tax increases at a reasonable and fair rate that are required for the one and only purpose and express intention of providing an excellent educational context at a decent level of quality.

Concise: Although quality education is important for our children, some people vote against tax increases for school improvements.

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As mentioned last week, parallelism is the gimmick that allows us to get away with a longer sentence. The brain says, “I’m out of here,” after about twenty words. But often we can keep our reader with us if we make sure that all parts of each sentence are in the same grammatical form. Parallelism means that coordinate or balanced ideas are expressed in the same constructions. Nouns must be parallel with nouns, verbs with verbs, phrases with phrases, clauses with clauses, and so forth. For example, that was forwarded last week and that was delivered by my courier service are parallel constructions. On the other hand, that was forwarded last week and to have been delivered by my courier service are not parallel. Lack of parallelism is a very common problem.

Maintain parallelism in the following instances:

Items in a Series

A series consists of three or more elements. Although the repetition of the construction is essential, the repetition of the tag word (in, the, of, for, to) is optional. If the parallel elements are long or deserve special emphasis, use the tag word. If not, omit it.

• She maintained a tight schedule by working forty hours a week, training for the marathon, studying for chemistry, and socializing with her friends.
• The restaurant is famous for its elaborate menu, for its good service, and for its exorbitant prices.

Coordinate Ideas

Coordinate ideas are connected by coordinating conjunctions such as for, and, nor, but, or, yet. Also, maintain parallelism for ideas in comparisons created by than or as.

• Political candidates often try to discredit their opponents or to confuse the voters.
• She was in the hospital because she liked singing in the rain and dancing in the shower.

Ideas in a Vertical List

Don’t mix complete sentences, single words, and different types of phrases in the same list.

The order of business will be as follows:

• Hearing the reports of the subcommittees
• Creating a procedure for updating employees’ computers
• Revising the employee handbook

Items with Two-Part Connectives

Two-part connectives (correlative conjunctions) include either/or, neither/nor, not only/but also, both/and. Make sure that the type of construction following the first connective is the same type following the second connective. Helping verbs such as “have” and “can” are especially troublesome. If the helping verb is shared by both main verbs, place the helping verb before the first connective. If the helping verb is not shared, place it after the connective. Notice that all three of the following sentences are parallel.

• Either Eric will go to the party with his friends, or he will go to the movie with his sister.
• Eric either will go to the party with his friends or will go to the movie with his sister.
• Eric will either go to the party with his friends or go to the movie with his sister.

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Parallelism is the gimmick that allows us to get away with a longer sentence. The brain says, “I’m out of here,” after about twenty words. But often we can keep our reader with us if we make sure that all parts of each sentence are in the same grammatical form. Parallelism means that coordinate or balanced ideas are expressed in the same constructions. Nouns must be parallel with nouns, verbs with verbs, phrases with phrases, clauses with clauses, and so forth. For example, that was forwarded last week and that was delivered by my courier service are parallel constructions. On the other hand, that was forwarded last week and to have been delivered by my courier service are not parallel. Lack of parallelism is a very common problem.

Parallel sentences can add coherence to passages that deserve special attention. This rhetorical device is often used in the best speeches. In the following excerpt from John F. Kennedy’s inaugural address, note how the repetition of words and constructions not only creates coherence but lifts the emotional impact of the passage.

And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.

My fellow citizens of the world, ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.

Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the world, ask of us here the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love, asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on Earth God’s work must truly be our own.

Use the device of parallel sentences sparingly. If it is overused, your letters and reports will have an overblown quality.

Next week: Maintaining Parallelism.

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A verbal phrase consists of a verbal and all of its modifiers and objects. Since verbals come from verbs, they take on all of the characteristics of verbs. And since verbals function as other parts of speech, they also take on the characteristics of those parts of speech.

Shopping at her favorite stores, Samantha spent her entire paycheck. (The bolded phrase is a participial phrase because it functions as an adjective modifying Samantha.)

Shopping on line is Samantha’s favorite pastime. (The bolded phrase is a gerund phrase because it functions as the subject of the sentence; it is, therefore, a noun.)

Samantha loves to shop for bargains. (The bolded phrase is an infinitive phrase because the word to precedes the verb. The infinitive is functioning as a direct object.)

Click here for a challenge exercise on Verbal phrases.

The word only is often misplaced. It sounds natural almost anywhere in the sentence, but for the meaning of the sentence to be clear, only should be placed as close as possible to what it modifies. The word only can be used as an adverb or as an adjective and usually precedes the word it is modifying. Some other words that are often misplaced are almost, just, and merely.

• I only have $5 -Careless
• I have only $5 -Clear
• I only am testing the chemical. -Careless
• Only I am testing the chemical. -Clear
• I am only testing the chemical. -Clear

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Verbals are words that are derived from verbs but function as another part of speech. We have three types of verbals in our language: participles, infinitives, and gerunds.

Participle: adjective. Ends in –ing in the present (walking, running) and in –ed or an irregular ending in the past participle (walked, run).

Infinitive: noun, adjective, or adverb. The word to precedes the dictionary form (to walk, to run).

Gerund: noun. Always ends in an –ing (walking, running).

Since both participles and gerunds can end in – ing, you have to know whether the verbal is functioning as a noun or as an adjective.

Examples of Verbals

• Her shopping spree got her in serious financial trouble. (Shopping is a participle because it is functioning as an adjective modifying the noun spree.)
• Shopping is Samantha’s favorite pastime. (Shopping is a gerund because it is functioning as the subject of the sentence; therefore, it is a noun.)
• Samantha loves to shop. (To shop is an infinitive because the verb shop is preceded by the word to. The infinitive is functioning as a direct object; therefore, it is a noun.)

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Last week I offered my opinion on the proper use of bold and italics in e-Learning. I wanted to know your opinion. John Laflin, PhD, Professor of English at Dakota State University, Madison, South Dakota was kind enough to offer the following:

I teach courses in software documentation. In each student project I insist that a list of manual conventions be included. (It’s absolutely incredible how many software, hardware, and peripherals manuals do not list any conventions.)

Students are fond of placing any user-generated text in “quotation marks” – e.g. Now type “the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.” I always counsel against this practice as the user should not actually type the quotation marks, and the writer has to tell and remind the user not to do so. The period at the end of the sentence is another concern, but I can get to that later.

So I advise either bold faced type or a color or even a different typeface, such as “Courier” for those bits of text that a user should type. These font changes are not under the user’s control, so there would be little if any confusion about what to type. Line breaks are also useful here, as a writer can minimize confusion by placing a Line Break (and not a paragraph break) before the “and” in the following example:

“Now type: the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog and Press [ENTER].” Some users will be bound to keep typing unless the line ends after the word “dog.”

I certainly have no problem with using bold to indicate menus or whatever; however I would also suggest that the convention help make the writer more efficient. If the writer has said in a conventions page that “words in bold-faced type indicate the names of menus,” the writer does not need to say “Click the File menu.” Instead the writer only needs to say “Click File” as the bold type actually substitutes for the words “the” and “menu.”

Now as for those pesky periods: I allow my students to omit periods that would normally be required when they fall at the ends of sentences that a user needs to type. As with the example above, the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog

This sentence would normally require a period at the end; however putting a period at the end will confuse readers and it’s very hard to see whether or not a period is bold. And of course in the old days of typesetting there was no such thing as a “bold period.” Although the period in the example above is not critical, think about a web address, where a stray period could create a “404 Not Found” error.

Thanks for the opportunity to share.

Great stuff, John, as usual. And thank you.

The rules for quotation marks can get a bit confusing as they are not related to logic in any way. My best advice is to always check the rule before using the quotation marks. Since we don’t use them that often, these rules are not worth memorizing; however, they are worth looking up in a reference book. Put periods and commas inside the closing quotation marks. This is the American style. The American convention for placing commas and periods inside quotation marks offers no logic. If you deal with publications from England or Australia or South Africa, the rules for the quotation mark will differ.

Here are examples of a period and comma with quotation marks:

• The letter was marked “Confidential.”
• She described her new friend as “tall,” “handsome,” and “intelligent.”

Put colons and semicolons outside the closing quotation marks. Again there is no logic to this rule.

Here are examples of quotation marks with colons and semicolons:

• I had my doubts when I heard him say, “Your check is in the mail”; needless to say, I have received nothing.
• We know what she means when she says to use some “ingenuity”: creativity wins proposals.

Use the following patterns for question marks and exclamation points at the end of a sentence concluding with a quotation:

Here are examples of quotation marks with question marks and exclamation points:

• When the quote is not a question, but the sentence is.

  Did they say, “We’ll help”?

• When the quote is a question, but the sentence is not.

  They asked, “May we help?”

• When the quote is a question, and so is the sentence.

  Did they ask, “May we help?”

• When the quote is an exclamation, and the sentence is a question.

  Who yelled, “The sky is falling!”

• When the quote is a question, and the sentence is an exclamation.

  Don’t ask, “Where is the exit”!

Use quotation marks for a direct quote, not for an indirect quotation.

Here’s a direct quote:

The forerunner declared, “My political record shows that I am the best person for the job.”

Here’s an indirect quote:

The forerunner declared that his political record shows that he is the best person for the job.

Note: Single quotes are treated the same way as double quotes.

A semicolon should be used to separate two constructions of generally equal weight. Remember, a semicolon is stronger than a comma, but weaker than a period. Generally, a semicolon is used to separate two independent clauses without a conjunction or with a conjunctive adverb.

• Proofreading requires alertness; a tired mind will miss many errors.
• She completed her report on time; however, she neglected to proofread it.

A semicolon should be used to separate items in a series when one or more of the items contain commas.

• Seminars were conducted in Dallas, Texas, on July 18, 2000; in Washington, DC, on October 21, 2000; and in St. Louis, Missouri, on May 13, 2001.

A semicolon should be used to separate two independent clauses joined by a coordinating conjunction when at least one of the clauses contains commas that could result in a misreading of the sentence. This is an exception to the rule that the comma, not the semicolon, is used with coordinating conjunctions joining independent clauses. The coordinating conjunctions include for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so.

• We ordered legal paper, toner cartridges, and black ballpoint pens; but manila folders, envelopes, and binder clips were sent instead.

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